Sick

So J.J. (one of my teammates [pictured at left]) and I were having a conversation a little over a week ago. We were talking about God's love and the concept of unconditional love and what it meant. Now I usually have a really hard time grasping that concept, not that I don't accept grace, but part of me struggles with the "unconditional" bit. She then asks me this question, "Josh, what would you do if you couldn't 'do' anything for God anymore? Do you think He would still love you?" I realized then how much I emphasize "doing" over "being" and how I'm afraid that if I don't do anything, I won't be counted as worthy by God. Fast forward to Sunday. I wake up Sunday morning with a splitting headache feeling absolutely worn out after a night of really restless sleep filled with really tripping dreams that gave me no rest at all. I ended up going to Partick Trinity that morning and when I got home I collapsed on the sofa. It turns out that I had a fever and I had it for 2 days! During Sunday and Monday I could do very little except for lie on the couch and veg. My mind felt like it was on drugs. It was crazy! But, when my fever broke on Monday night and I started to heal, I started thinking about it. God had this crazy way of taking an "innocent" question and bringing it to pass. I thought about it last night and just felt overwhelmingly loved by God. It was awesome because I knew that I could still really do nothing, and that God loved me because of His grace and mercy, not because of anything I had done.